Stop Abusing Yourself, lol

At this point in time I really don’t feel much in regards to the opinion of others in regards to my art. It doesn’t mean I won’t feel something in the future because I’m a fucking human but it doesn’t really hold much stake in my life at this point. I like who i’ve become and who i’m slowly molding myself into which gives me the confidence needed for such a statement but there in lies another issue. Since others don’t affect me that means my own opinion of my own work is more critical than ever. I’m dissecting every insignificant detail and its fucking infuriating. Every line, every photo and even the type of content is being evaluated.

It is single handedly the main reason I don’t start creating or get things done. For that reason alone to be the main reason why something isn’t done is nuts but also shows me, which I learned recently that perfection is not important and often the greatest inhibitor of the creation of art. Something I heard and understood to an extent in the past but I completely understand it now. Playing back parts of the shit I was working on made me realize that I was overly focused on the level of quality of something no one had even seen and will never see. Thats fucking stupid. As long as you lean into what you love you’ll be perfectly fine. If you keep searching for perfect you’ll be searching forever. Get it done bitch.

Its Not Always How Many People See It....

It’s cool if alotta people see the shit that you create but it’s usually one moment that leads to that though. Its usually because one person who worked somewhere was a fan of your work. Maybe it was a relationship you built upon and massaged and now not only do they like your shit but now they’re in a position of power. Sometimes its just one person who is well known in your industry and they find you leading to reposts and millions of comments and likes. Its not going to be an instantaneous moment where you go from unknown fuck nigga to well known creative professional.

The moments that lead to your greatness are predicated on you having relationships with quality people and having the right person find you and the work you create. It is also important in regards to building a community. You want the right people to follow who will stick around for the journey and not just for the one thing that made you pop. Work towards having meaningful supporters and even more meaningful relationships. Put emphasis on the quality until your process is so seamless and smooth that it leads to a greater quantity of quality.

In Tune With The Future While Enjoying The Present....

Theres nothing wrong with looking to the future but you can’t forget to enjoy the present. Theres nothing wrong with enjoying the present but you have to be in the midst of working towards a better future. I saw a video that I’ll post in a bit that dove into this topic in some detail and inspired this post. You can’t be too in tune with the present because in my humble opinion thats when niggas start getting a little too comfortable. Comfort scares the shit outta me even more so than the future ever could. Taking a risk and failing is scary but seeing yourself in the same place stagnant while others move forward is even scarier. You have to have a vision of what you see yourself doing in the future and become one with that vision. Your present should have remnants of the future in the now.

Your present life should day by day look more and more like that vision of the future. If it doesn’t then you just need to make moves that’ll get you closer to that reality. It takes time so don’t be a fucking dickhead and start to rush because nothing good comes from it. Trust me, I know from experience. The present is a gift that should be cherished, enjoyed and most importantly respected because you could easily lose it all tomorrow or lose it today while you’re in the middle of it. With all that being said though just make sure you’re working towards that wondrous tomorrow you’ve dreamt for yourself. Your dreams aren’t just that; They’re goals. Get to work and make them happen. Ain’t nobody gone make your dreams come true except you. If you don’t then someone will hire you to help make theirs a reality.

I Won't Leave You Flapping In The Breeze

But you aren’t the reason I get up in the morning. My motivation for being is something that manifested before you. I refuse to let anyone stand in the way of coalescing the future I see for myself, not even me. The partners I deal with and the one I settle down have to realize that my art and my passion are my drive and my sole motivator for getting up in the morning day after day in order to bring my dreams to life. It doesn’t mean that you don’t matter but it does mean that sometimes my work takes precedence.

There will be nights where I may not make it home because i’m a moment away from fulfilling a dream project. I may not be able to give you the attention you want as much because I have loftier goals that are finally coming true. Its not neglect but in the end I do not live for you. You are apart of my life and it means the world to me but my dreams, goals, aspirations and the passion that fuels them will always come first.

Some people don’t want to be told that they’ll be number two but I’d rather race to my goals with you by my side and have you understand as opposed to not understanding and doing it without you. It doesn’t mean that you don’t mean the world to me or that I wouldn’t move oceans and mountains to see you smile. It just means that there will be moments when I just need you to understand what i’m trying to accomplish and support me.

If I were to live the way you wanted me to then i’d end up hating and resenting you. I don’t want to wake every morning, turn over and feel nothing but disdain for your presence. I want to look at you and see everything that led up to this moment right now and remember that you were down with me the whole way. I hope you understand. Whoever you are.

If You Wanna Get Big Then You Gotta Eat Big!

And what I mean by that for the slow niggas in the back who are failing to pay attention is you have to ingest as much knowledge/intel about something you love to do as humanly possible. Now of course just like with food you don’t wanna take in too much or else you’ll be a lethargic and overstuffed piece of shit. Taking in knowledge should give you energy to create not the opposite. If you wanna get better you have to learn and that is an oft neglected part of the journey especially in this age of microwaved content and faux success. Everyone wants it overnight but it never happens overnight. It usually takes years of trial and error until they work out the perfect formula for themselves that inevitably takes them over the top. A lot of people will just copy what they see and fail to improve it and add value.

They just want the baby with none of the labor pains. This is where the learning comes in because it not only gives you the skills to get the money, adulation and fame but it’ll also give you the necessary lessons on how to keep what you attain. Since a lot of these niggas skip steps they fail to realize that the ones they skipped are some of the most important and they either end up stagnant or they lose it all. You don’t wanna study to stay where you are but to stack your chips and build on what you have to make something greater. Whats the point of learning if you don’t do shit. Theres no point in learning just to remain inactive so get to work. It’s a long and arduous road ahead but its fucking worth it just trust me. You don’t want to be the person who wants but never does.

Sometimes It's Worth It....

There will be times when you feel like the work isn’t worth it or that you feel like you’re on a hamster wheel going fucking nowhere. The thing is that you are making incremental steps towards your goal. As a creator of art you have to have a damn near impossible and grandiose vision of your life for the future. Sometimes we feel burnt out but we have to stay the course. No one knows the future and we are all figuring it out as I’ve stated before. You don’t wanna be the dickhead who stops trying the moment they’re about to achieve all they’ve worked for.

This is when motivation comes in and the small part validation can have on it. Whether its someone reposting your words because it resonated with them or you getting more likes than usual, validation can at times be the spark that keeps you going but there is a pitfall. Validation can be addictive and inevitably can lead to you chasing an unattainable high. Everyone wants their work to be seen by a large swath of people but that can’t be your only reason for wanting to make something. There has to be a flame built on the internal that keeps you going.

This is important so that when only one or two people see your shit it won’t deter you because you are working towards something bigger than their attention or their likes. You have to keep you motivated and this artistic journey we undertake from our need to create is what we need in order to strengthen the internal dialogue we have with ourselves and become better people. So i’m telling you its worth it. Not only will you gain and improve your skills but you’ll also improve yourself. I know that the days when your ideas feel like shit and you feel like shit feel like they last a lifetime but they are only temporary. They shall pass and you will get better. So get to work and keep going.

The Confusion Between Self-Confidence & Cockiness....

When you start to like yourself is when niggas start to hate you more. When they see that you are sure of yourself is when they start to realize that they aren’t. When they see that you are moving inexorably towards a goal is when they realize how stationary they’ve been. When they see you starting to gain traction is when they realize it’s all slipping away for them. When they see all that you’ve gained all they see is what they lack. News flash fuck nigga; That shit is NOT MY FUCKING PROBLEM!

Just because my light got brighter doesn’t mean it was done in order to make you feel like shit. You’re doing a pretty good fucking job of that on your own fam. They’ll say that you’re overconfident or cocky but how is that so when I’m just loving who I am and all that comes with that. It sounds like a fuck nigga is projecting and it isn’t fucking cute sweetheart. If you’re afraid of having the inner dialogue with yourself that can lead to the same self love that someone else then cool but just stop blaming other niggas for your inactivity. It’s not me, it’s you.

Just Keep Making Shit!

The message is self-explanatory for obvious reasons. None of the shit you’re hoping to build is going to happen overnight. It also dispels the old myth of this thing called “Writers Block.” Heres a news flash ya fucking dick; There’s no such thing. You’re probably just fucking lazy. When you have this “Block” it’s just some imaginary pressure you’re putting on yourself. Understandably you might have some shit to work through but two things are happening. One is that you’re not working on that shit and two is that you’re neglecting the perfect place to work through it. Whether it’s photography, music, painting or writing, whatever it is that you do has to be garbage before it gets good. Thats how you defeat this nonexistent block. You just make garbage until it’s good.

The thing is when you get this block no one is paying you any attention and its just you and your hobby. No one is watching you and no one is critiquing you. You don’t even have to tell or show anyone anything about what you’re doing, so why bitch about its quality. You are NOT going to get better by neglecting the thing you love. You are not going to magically find this inspiration because when you do it’s usually too late. Inspiration finds you when you’re working towards it NOT waiting for it. Just remember that you are good enough and have the right to make what you want regardless of the quality or the quantity. If you like it then thats enough. It’s yours to treasure and if you keep working and add a dash of luck then you’ll get to exactly where you need to be. So get to work. No one else is gonna do it for you.

The Scariest Question is "Why?"

This is the question most avoid because of this thing called accountability. It involves looking at yourself as imperfect and figuring out what needs to be fixed and what steps to take in doing so. Most will come up with a thousand reasons as to why they aren’t doing something but when you look at why they’re not they never look at themselves. Sometimes they even have the audacity to realize that they are the issue but are okay with being inactive. When you ask them why they are inactive or why they’re doing/not doing something you get met with bullshit excuses and answers that fail to barely even scratch the surface of the real reasoning at the core of it all. Usually if you want the truth you have to keep poking and prodding until they either get agitated and close up or just get agitated and tell you. Even when the close up you can still get to the latter.

The problem is why deny why you suck dick at something or at being a certain way when you can acknowledge that you are fucking up and make a change. That my friend is when we come back full circle to the original reason at hand. There is the fear that they are not all they perceive themselves to be and aren’t as clean as they originally thought they were in the long run. It takes courage to acknowledge your faults and take real accountability and not indulge in the new years mentality of doing okay for a week or two and then going to complete shit in week three. They should really be scared of what will happen if they remain a piece of shit or remain inactive in whatever set goals they have. The only way to avoid that fate is to honestly examine yourself and fix what is wrong and realize that you are the cause if not just a part of it. A talent wasted is a curse. Remember that, peace.

Enjoy Your Solitude....

It’s okay to take sometime for yourself. Sometimes we give others too much of ourselves to the point that we lose sight of your own goals along with your sense of self. Its not selfish to give a fuck about your own well being and it’s not selfish to want to stop giving in order to save something for yourself. Nigga i’m me. Why in the fuck would I not want to prioritize my own well being from time to time.

At the bare minimum if any one is going to always care for me it should be me. On the entire planet I should care for me because even if others do they can’t force me to do the work I need to in order to fix myself. I have to be the catalyst of that and make strides to do so of my own accord. Some people fall into that pitfalls of wanting to help and support everyone but whether its following behind a spouse or giving too much of your personal time to your family and friends, you lose who you are and may be hard pressed to figure that shit out again.

I don’t want to be with a spouse and have nothing to show no matter the outcome and be looked at as just that. I don’t want to give to all my friends and realize that they have failed to reciprocate at all in any way when it’s all said and done with them gaining while I gained nothing. Relationships are transactional and at times are not worth the price of admission. It’s important to focus on your mental and physical health. It’s important to put energy into your own endeavors and reap the rewards. It’s okay to spend time away and come back energized. If they don’t understand that then fuck ‘em. They probably didn’t really care any fucking way.

Let Your Limits Help You....

Too many options equals none. Don’t bitch up in the face of something thats holding you back. It’s not just wanting to break past a limit thats helpful but how you turn that weakness or limitation into a strength. You can make better decisions by using that current block as a guide to circumnavigate it or make a choice that lets you get the best option that benefits you most now and allows you room to grow and upgrade later. Like say for instance you want to decorate your house and you want some statues but you want something like Swizz Beats’ 15ft. tall Kaws statue. The thing is that your bitch ass lives in a 1 bedroom apartment in Brooklyn and you don’t have the hundreds if not millions to afford it. The amount of space you have prevents you from getting that as well as your measly fucking bank account.

So instead you get some Funko Pops and call it a day They are in your budget, they’re affordable and won’t leave you destitute and homeless in the fucking street. You can do this with interests and hobbies also. If you want to get into photography then you can find your price range for your gear and software if you ain’t trapping out the bandwidth. That limit forces you to weigh what you’re looking for against your price range to find the best solution for the time being. It will not only help you find everything you need because you’ll need to be efficient but you’ll also be able to make better overall decisions because it’ll effect you more if you don’t. Limits are only limits until you use them in your favor. Once you learn that forget what a weakness ever was.

Save Yourself....

No one is going to do the work on you for you so get to work. You don’t have the luxury of waiting until you feel ready to act or when the fear subsides. If you want to make a change you have to be the catalyst because codependence ain’t fucking cute. The people in your life have their own lives and they can’t be there to take care of you all the time. When the ones that do that for you are gone all you’ll have left is yourself.

If you’ve done none of the work required to move forward then you’ll just end up realizing that you’ve stayed stagnant in the same place for god knows how fucking long this person was around. Other people can’t be your motivators; you have to be your own. Why wait for someone else to save you when you can save yourself. So get to work because it’s not just about the journey or the destination but being able to look back and see how far you’ve come and realizing that you still have so far to go.

No One Cares About Your Feelings....

“Fuck ya feelings.”

— Me Dumb Dumb lol

I’ve touched on this before but not in detail. This seems to be something that people seem to think matters when money has been exchanged for a service. The reason your feelings don’t matter is not only because you have a job to do but because of the other things surrounding this projects completion. From marketing campaigns to the sale of goods albeit digital or otherwise. You slacking because you feel lazy or some shit has happened to you isn’t going to fucking cut it. The obvious also has an oft neglected caveat as well. If you were working with vogue and told them that you couldn’t complete the project because you didn’t feel like it or some other bullshit then get prepared. They are not only going to have to find someone else but they are also going to cut all contact with you and you’ll never work with them again.

Couple that with them informing their network of lucrative clientele that will be told of how you are a monumental fuck up who is never to be hired for work should your name come across their desk. Now to people with a professional mind this is obvious but to most who want to be solely artists and neglect the business they will surely pay dearly in the loss of networking opportunity and money. If you want to succeed in the business side of art then you need to treat the business like an art. You also as described by the title have to curtail your feelings and get the job done. You and your feelings are irrelevant. Get the fucking job done because no one cares once currency for a service is exchanged and a deadline is agreed upon. Don’t block your blessings by being a lazy fuck and definitely don’t let your laziness block someone else’s. I have spoken.

Real Shit Is Hard To Find Nowadays....

“No one has to like you so cherish the ones that do.”

— Me Stupid lol

Be yourself from jump. Niggas don’t have time to figure out if this is you or not. Don’t let me fall in love with the representative but the person within is absolute garbage in reality. I make it a habit of just being myself because not only is it refreshing, cathartic and whole bunch of other SAT words but it saves fucking time. Someone can judge you at face value; as you are. From that point they can decide whether you gel well together and whether they fuck with you or not.

If they do then its lit and if not then no hard feelings. Why play games when you can save time by trimming the fat and getting to the main event. In the end no one wants a relationship of any kind to begin with a lie. It just causes problems for the future. If you live in your truth then they can’t hold the past over you. It’s not easy but its worth it. The most difficult decisions are usually the best for you.

You'll Never Be Ready

The only way to get ready is by doing. Taking your ego and your fears out of it and doing it because you want to and for your own enjoyment. You’ll get ready as you go along and that will be a journey full of practice, experimentation and failure. Like A LOT OF FUCKING FAILURE. In all honesty that is the best part. Being able to see where your flaws are and being able to gradually correct them. Not only that but you’ll be incrementally edging towards the person you want to be who’ll be as good as you want to be. It’s a step by step process and a lot of niggas want to microwave the shit and get instant results but fail to realize that all you get is a shitty product.

No one wants to look inward and no one wants to work. It’s all just instant gratification and a trash product. Life is not instagram or twitter. That is a highlight reel and NOT FUCKING REAL LIFE! We make mistakes and you can either learn from and live with them or you can keep making them. I prefer the former. Even if your ready nothing is always going to go your way and there will always be some bum ass nigga in a basement with some slick shit to say but thats life. If you can’t handle that then you better get hip because by the time you’re actually “Ready” it’ll be too late. Strike now while you’re scared and nervous. That means you’re on the right track to greatness and the freedom that comes with it.

DON'T Let Money Be Your ONLY Motivator....

That shit will drive you crazy fam, trust me. I’m saying this from experience. That shit is fucking trash and you will hate that shit. You may not regret it because your wallet will look like an instagram model but you will hate yourself. This also comes from seeing the perspectives of other people who only really work for the money. They slack and procrastinate when the money is absent but wanna work in overdrive when they see dollar signs. The thing these fuck niggas don’t understand is that sometimes the opportunity to get to the bag comes from the opportunities you ignored that had no money but people who had talent worth more than that. When you slack and are inconsiderate with someones time not only is that an opportunity potentially squandered but now you’ve destroyed the trust by being lazy or late.

This means that you’ve officially destroyed a chance to work with them because why would anyone work with someone who they can’t rely or depend on. You also never know where someone will end up. The person you ignored, treated like absolute shit or even neglected to put your best foot forward with could go on to work with people you’d only hoped to work with let alone be in the same room with. Now your only way in is out because you destroyed the relationship with the person who could’ve made that dream of yours a reality. Respect other peoples time, energy and talent. The niggas you worked with for free could lead you to getting to the biggest bags you’ve ever seen in your life; Together.

The Difference Between Neglect & Focus

This is the one thing about me that sometimes confuses me like shit fam. To get straight to the shit I am someone who loves relationships with women. I can be a whole ho if I wanted to but I like the intimacy of a relationship so fucking sue me lol. The problem is that when it comes to me finding this its almost as if for me personally anyway that I’m meeting the right women at the wrong time. Beautiful baddies for whom I would love to spend my time with and blow the backs out of but it’s just never the right time. Either they got a nigga or they just got out of a relationship. Due to the consistency of this I just said fuck it and decided to focus on me, which has paid off tremendously in regards to my sense of self worth, self love and mental health. The problem is when I think about how little time I spend finding a partner because I’m so focused on getting to my vision.

It makes me wonder if I’m just really focused or am I using my vision as a way to avoid that aspect of my life. Shit maybe it is both nigga I don’t fucking know lol. This is something I started thinking about because of how my life will be WHEN I pop off and WHEN I’m successful. Who will be there to say that they experienced the journey with me and stayed the course? Will it just be me alone in a nice apartment/home with mad money and no-one to share it with? Will I just throw myself into my work in order to keep so busy that I’m forced not to pay attention even though I notice it? I don’t want to be the nigga who has everything and no-one to share it with. I also don’t wanna be no bum ass nigga who can’t rub two fucking coins together to save his fucking life. I wanna see my vision for my future coalesce into a full fledged reality and I won’t let anything or anyone stand in my way. I just don’t want to neglect finding someone and have no-one to stand with me when its all said and done.