Embrace The Petty.

Maybe that nigga Vegeta was onto something. That nigga wanted to not only be the best but be better than one other person so bad that he not only worked but willed himself into becoming a super saiyan. This nigga wanted it so bad that he achieved ultra ego when Goku achieved ultra instinct. Unlike Goku who just loves to fight and wants to do nothing more than become stronger solely for the sake of it this nigga Vegeta wanted to be strong to spite others and laud it over their heads and to that I say “Sounds like a plan.”

You can make incredible gains by embracing pettiness. Wanting to prove someone wrong or to make someone regret something, be the best and destroy the competition. I see nothing wrong with it. Michael Jordan was one of if not still is one of the most petty human beings on the face of the earth. He willed himself into greatness by outworking his competitors and embracing the darker emotions of the human existence.

He would see people accomplish feats against him and talk trash and work 10X’s harder to make them regret it. Kobe Bryant during a particularly tumultuous period in his life used his anger and aggression as a means to becoming a better player and molding a championship team. With people constantly doubting him, wanting to see him fail and him generally being a bit of a pariah at that point created the “Black Mamba” alter ego.

Wanting to put someone in their place, prove someone wrong and make others regret doubting you whilst proving your skill is an incredible means to an end that no one wants to talk about. If it wasn’t a good motivator then why does every man or woman work out or put in extra effort towards a goal like working out after a break up? If it wasn’t a good motivator then why would someone who gets broken up with throw themselves even deeper into their work?

Nothing would make me happier than to show all those who doubted me that I am better. Nothing would make me happier than making them regret seeing me as less than. Nothing would make me happier than to be better than my previous affiliates ever could be and kill them and their egos with success. Fuck kindness. Not only will I destroy their doubts and make them eat their words and feel shame for doing so but I’ll destroy my doubts as well. Embrace the petty.

"I'm Only"

First and foremost I’m back you bitch ass niggas HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Secondly that phrase should be adopted into your vocabulary immediately. A lot of people love to put arbitrary time limits on themselves in regards to a goal or task to be accomplished. That is inherently detrimental because of the fact that this usually comes from comparing yourself to the highlight reel obsessed sycophants on the fucking internet. Its always good to have a timeline and a deadline to push some pep in ya’ step but it shouldn’t come from comparing your journey to another’s. The path to success is not one size fits all. There is no formula and no guarantees. The path to success is plagued with experimentation, innovation and lots of failure. This comes from success not only meaning different things to different people but the trial and error that is need to figure out what works for you.

You can start at 16 or you can start at 60; It’s never too late to begin something new and become someone different. Its always better to start earlier but never let some random and poorly thought out time frame convince you that life can and has to play out one way. Every ending is a new beginning and learning to embrace failure and uncomfortable circumstances will be the key to it. It just won’t play out the same way every time. If you can deal with that and understand that then you’ll be better prepared than most the get to exactly where you see yourself. There’s nothing wrong with that process of change starting later in life so don’t be deterred by this. Its a marathon not a sprint and sometimes the fruits of your labor only start to manifest when your nearing the end.

They're Not Your Friend. They're Just Convenient.

As I’ve grown over these last 29 years I realized many things but one of the most important is that most “Friendships” aren’t that. These people are merely surface level acquaintances that are around due to the circumstances being convenient. Whether you see them at work or go to the same school, chances are you only hang with these particular individuals because they are the closest to you. You only engage in small talk and have no meaningful conversations. Shit, a lot of these relationships may also just be based on mutual benefit. As you live and grow you realize that people who truly care dive into your complexities with an innate curiosity. They dig beneath the surface in order to not only understand but to embrace who you truly are.

They confide in you amidst their lows and include you in the glow of their highs. Your conversations have depth and cover an array of topics. They are an essential part of your journey and if you’re lucky then they become apart of your life for the long haul. Some people are only around for a reason and a season and thats normal but some of these niggas you claim to be friends are only around for themselves. Finding and having real friends is never convenient. It takes time and effort to find real ones. Theres nothing wrong with acquaintances but you have to deal with them accordingly. The true friends that remain all laugh in the face of inconvenience. They’d never let something like that stop themselves from being the friend that you deserve.

Learn The Value Of Someones Work Before You Shit On It Ya' Fucking Dickhead!

A lot of times you’ll see that happen on the internet or hear it in conversation or whatever and it just goes to show the disconnect between the creator and the consumer. Often times it shows how fucking dumb and uninformed they are because they don’t know the process or even understand that the work they are undervaluing is something that they see and has also affected them everyday since they were born. With photography in particular people still think of it as the art that is literally just pushing a button. For one they are a fucking idiot. Period. For second they have no idea of the knowledge and know how that is required to take those photos and the importance of them.

Going back to how it affects them is in regards to advertising. Everything they buy is usually because of an ad with stunning and painstakingly edited photos made just to get them to stop and contemplate buying an item of clothing or a fucking blender. The websites the go to to buy clothes or makeup have product photos and editorials geared toward making you buy everything from eyeshadow to a pair of shoes. When they read vogue the ads that they turn past have paid a photographer tens of thousands of dollars and possibly six figures just to get that one photo. From getting the photographer and the crew together, location and set up, building props and additional pieces to add to the set, the editing and color-grading to the retouching.

It is way more than pushing a button and even with that if you don’t know how to use the camera or manipulate the settings then your fucked bitch. It’s easy to dismiss what someone does when you’ve never done it and probably can’t do it. So before you start screaming about how that shit is easy, how about you shut the fuck up and use your noodle for a second because the shit probably looks easy because they’ve been working on that skill for half your life to make it look as such. Stop hating and start learning ya’ bozo. Hating never made a nigga no money. Period.

Keep Going. That's It.

Sometimes I sit and think that a lot of the things that I envision for myself and that I KNOW WILL happen are crazy and that I’m crazy for how grandiose they may seem if I said them to other people but I know they aren’t because I’ve always seen these things happening regardless of how others may feel about it. I don’t think of them as dreams but as goals that I don’t see being anything other than accomplished. Ever since I started thinking about the future seriously when I was younger I never saw myself as unsuccessful or as a bum. I always saw myself as a successful creative with multiple streams of income, a baddie on my arm, a fire ass home and two fire ass samoyed puppies named “Aeon” & “Horcrux.” (Don’t steal the dog names ‘cause I know they’re fire and some of you niggas might jack that shit so don’t do it. Thank You. Sincerely, MGMT.)

It wasn’t always that way of course but once I reached that point I couldn’t see any other destination aside from that one. There were nights when I felt like an absolute fucking nutcase but there was an even bigger feeling telling me otherwise. A feeling saying to be patient. A feeling telling me to stay the course. A feeling telling me to keep trying. A feeling telling me to keep going. I have no choice but to listen because this art shit with photography in particular is in my blood and bones. I can’t see myself doing anything else for the rest of my life. I can’t go back to retail without wanting to put a bullet in my head and I don’t want to work for another muhfucking person ever again. Just clients and partners with a team I can trust working as a unit. I see all my dreams coalescing into reality and I can’t see nothing else. Neither should you.

The Plight Of Being Different

Being oneself is not for the faint of heart. The challenge of trying to find your place in arenas where you stand apart will plague you daily. There will be a constant lack of understanding due to a combination of ignorance and a lack of empathy on the parts of your colleagues and peers. The sheer amount of people who will fail to understand your vision may at times make you start to believe that you might be the crazy one but the truth is that you aren't. Most people are reactionary while the one who forges their own path is trying to be the catalyst for the next event that they react to. Most people only find comfort in bloody water while the different embrace the fear of the blue oceans emptiness.

That is where the oddballs and the weirdos come in. We make the sacrifices that others aren't willing to. We put in the work that others neglect due to laziness. We are willing to come to grips with the fact that in order for some to succeed after us that we have to sacrifice ourselves at times and take the brunt of the hate and all the ridicule that comes with sticking to your guns and trusting your gut. Only those who see the world differently as we do will be able to understand and it's that understanding that is one of the greatest pleasures you can get in a world that chooses the ordinary by default.

It reaffirms what people like us have to periodically tell ourselves in order to stay sane; We are NOT crazy. We are different. We are unique and on behalf of all the artists with a unique vision I want to say that you are loved. So keep doing you because in the long run the sacrifices will be worth it. They'll catch up eventually.

Protect Your Vision....

So as you can see from the photo above I just finished watching the Zack Snyder cut of the “Justice League.” It was a dope movie but it made me kind of sad though. The root of this sadness came from the lack of understanding and appreciation of the vision of others. Zack originally crafted a great movie going experience that was well rounded and fleshed out aside from being thoroughly entertaining too of course. The original came from the interference of the studio itself and the people they hired to change what he had created when he stepped down in the wake of his daughter’s death. They destroyed and completely shit on his creative vision and created the ghastly fucking monstrosity that was the theatrical cut. People do this in your day to day life as well. When you tell them of your plans of show them what you hope to create they say things like “Why would you do that?” or “You can’t do that!”

Shit that is indicative of how they view themselves and their abilities. Just because you can’t see yourself doing something doesn’t mean you should shit on the dreams and aspirations of someone else. You’ll see it with people who want to change what you’ve made to fit their understanding instead of trying to understand what you’ve presented. It’s insulting and disgusting in all honesty because they’ve made this a certain way for a reason and by ignoring the inherent importance of that its like they’re saying that reasoning has no validity. Unfortunately this mindset permeates the world more than ever and now more than ever you have to be careful with whom you tell your secrets and reveal you dreams to. Only trust those most important to you with this information because you never know who could be lurking in the shadows just waiting to sow doubt into all that you hoped to build. Protect your vision. No one else can see it like you.

Show Your Work, Stupid

See what I mean. This one has mad mistakes and the quality could be way better in regards to the retouching which is where I fucked up and went back to improve it. That led to the photo above.

Show your work because you sure as fuck ain’t gonna look cute trying to be fucking perfect all the time. It is an immense waste of fucking time. No one on the planet can relate to someone who makes no mistakes because there is no such person on the planet. We all fuck up and to be honest trying to live like your life is a highlight reel just makes you look like an insecure asshole because you probably are. The secure & the strong show the process of their work. Every typo, off kilter brushstroke, blurry photo or even the terribly synced audio in your video is up for debate & discussion.

It humanizes you and the work. It allows you to be human and turn it into a learning experience for yourself and those who follow you. It can also be a source of inspiration because those who look to you can see that even the person they admire can fuck up. This makes the first steps for them in regards to starting their artistic journey less daunting. Showing your work also allows you to learn because you and your peers can not only correct mistakes made as a group but you can also learn from your peers and bounce around ideas to make all your work as well as theirs better. So share more of the process and how you got there so that when you’re popping you’ll be used to telling others how you got there. They’ll definitely be asking.

Swimming With Sharks

It takes courage to be an artist. There are going to be a plethora of reasons as to why someone may not have courage to be one and one of the reasons will definitely be the opinions of others. Fuck ALL of them niggas and I mean that from the core of me my nigga. It’s a lot easier to just say fuck putting in the amount of work it would take to feel that way because it is an incredibly herculean task but you’re doing yourself an immense disservice. You have to look inward and figure out what is so scary about someone saying something about what you make. Your bitch ass has so much to say when other artists whose music you consume make some shit you think is garbage so why do you think that your dumb ass is exempt. Spoiler alert; You are not.

People are going to talk and you DO NOT have the right to be sensitive about shit you put out to the world. If you’re a going to be sensitive about something you put out to the world that invites conversation as everything shared does then keep that shit to yourself bitch. You have to have a level of detachment because once you make something and release it to the world it is no longer yours. It belongs to the streets and if you play in the street then you have to be aware of the cars. Just like the streets not everyone is built for them so keep yo ass on them fucking sidewalks fam and stay out the fucking way. If you can overlook the fear and get past these potential setbacks then you’ll realize that this art shit is beautiful and that hindering your true self was a colossal waste of time. Trust me. Get over that shit. Once you do you’ll start to play amongst the stars on your way to the moon.

Stop Abusing Yourself, lol

At this point in time I really don’t feel much in regards to the opinion of others in regards to my art. It doesn’t mean I won’t feel something in the future because I’m a fucking human but it doesn’t really hold much stake in my life at this point. I like who i’ve become and who i’m slowly molding myself into which gives me the confidence needed for such a statement but there in lies another issue. Since others don’t affect me that means my own opinion of my own work is more critical than ever. I’m dissecting every insignificant detail and its fucking infuriating. Every line, every photo and even the type of content is being evaluated.

It is single handedly the main reason I don’t start creating or get things done. For that reason alone to be the main reason why something isn’t done is nuts but also shows me, which I learned recently that perfection is not important and often the greatest inhibitor of the creation of art. Something I heard and understood to an extent in the past but I completely understand it now. Playing back parts of the shit I was working on made me realize that I was overly focused on the level of quality of something no one had even seen and will never see. Thats fucking stupid. As long as you lean into what you love you’ll be perfectly fine. If you keep searching for perfect you’ll be searching forever. Get it done bitch.

Its Not Always How Many People See It....

It’s cool if alotta people see the shit that you create but it’s usually one moment that leads to that though. Its usually because one person who worked somewhere was a fan of your work. Maybe it was a relationship you built upon and massaged and now not only do they like your shit but now they’re in a position of power. Sometimes its just one person who is well known in your industry and they find you leading to reposts and millions of comments and likes. Its not going to be an instantaneous moment where you go from unknown fuck nigga to well known creative professional.

The moments that lead to your greatness are predicated on you having relationships with quality people and having the right person find you and the work you create. It is also important in regards to building a community. You want the right people to follow who will stick around for the journey and not just for the one thing that made you pop. Work towards having meaningful supporters and even more meaningful relationships. Put emphasis on the quality until your process is so seamless and smooth that it leads to a greater quantity of quality.

Hassan's Seminar III - How To Create The Reality You Really Want

This is the video that inspired the last post. You’re welcome nigga, bye!

In Tune With The Future While Enjoying The Present....

Theres nothing wrong with looking to the future but you can’t forget to enjoy the present. Theres nothing wrong with enjoying the present but you have to be in the midst of working towards a better future. I saw a video that I’ll post in a bit that dove into this topic in some detail and inspired this post. You can’t be too in tune with the present because in my humble opinion thats when niggas start getting a little too comfortable. Comfort scares the shit outta me even more so than the future ever could. Taking a risk and failing is scary but seeing yourself in the same place stagnant while others move forward is even scarier. You have to have a vision of what you see yourself doing in the future and become one with that vision. Your present should have remnants of the future in the now.

Your present life should day by day look more and more like that vision of the future. If it doesn’t then you just need to make moves that’ll get you closer to that reality. It takes time so don’t be a fucking dickhead and start to rush because nothing good comes from it. Trust me, I know from experience. The present is a gift that should be cherished, enjoyed and most importantly respected because you could easily lose it all tomorrow or lose it today while you’re in the middle of it. With all that being said though just make sure you’re working towards that wondrous tomorrow you’ve dreamt for yourself. Your dreams aren’t just that; They’re goals. Get to work and make them happen. Ain’t nobody gone make your dreams come true except you. If you don’t then someone will hire you to help make theirs a reality.

I Won't Leave You Flapping In The Breeze

But you aren’t the reason I get up in the morning. My motivation for being is something that manifested before you. I refuse to let anyone stand in the way of coalescing the future I see for myself, not even me. The partners I deal with and the one I settle down have to realize that my art and my passion are my drive and my sole motivator for getting up in the morning day after day in order to bring my dreams to life. It doesn’t mean that you don’t matter but it does mean that sometimes my work takes precedence.

There will be nights where I may not make it home because i’m a moment away from fulfilling a dream project. I may not be able to give you the attention you want as much because I have loftier goals that are finally coming true. Its not neglect but in the end I do not live for you. You are apart of my life and it means the world to me but my dreams, goals, aspirations and the passion that fuels them will always come first.

Some people don’t want to be told that they’ll be number two but I’d rather race to my goals with you by my side and have you understand as opposed to not understanding and doing it without you. It doesn’t mean that you don’t mean the world to me or that I wouldn’t move oceans and mountains to see you smile. It just means that there will be moments when I just need you to understand what i’m trying to accomplish and support me.

If I were to live the way you wanted me to then i’d end up hating and resenting you. I don’t want to wake every morning, turn over and feel nothing but disdain for your presence. I want to look at you and see everything that led up to this moment right now and remember that you were down with me the whole way. I hope you understand. Whoever you are.

If You Wanna Get Big Then You Gotta Eat Big!

And what I mean by that for the slow niggas in the back who are failing to pay attention is you have to ingest as much knowledge/intel about something you love to do as humanly possible. Now of course just like with food you don’t wanna take in too much or else you’ll be a lethargic and overstuffed piece of shit. Taking in knowledge should give you energy to create not the opposite. If you wanna get better you have to learn and that is an oft neglected part of the journey especially in this age of microwaved content and faux success. Everyone wants it overnight but it never happens overnight. It usually takes years of trial and error until they work out the perfect formula for themselves that inevitably takes them over the top. A lot of people will just copy what they see and fail to improve it and add value.

They just want the baby with none of the labor pains. This is where the learning comes in because it not only gives you the skills to get the money, adulation and fame but it’ll also give you the necessary lessons on how to keep what you attain. Since a lot of these niggas skip steps they fail to realize that the ones they skipped are some of the most important and they either end up stagnant or they lose it all. You don’t wanna study to stay where you are but to stack your chips and build on what you have to make something greater. Whats the point of learning if you don’t do shit. Theres no point in learning just to remain inactive so get to work. It’s a long and arduous road ahead but its fucking worth it just trust me. You don’t want to be the person who wants but never does.

Sometimes It's Worth It....

There will be times when you feel like the work isn’t worth it or that you feel like you’re on a hamster wheel going fucking nowhere. The thing is that you are making incremental steps towards your goal. As a creator of art you have to have a damn near impossible and grandiose vision of your life for the future. Sometimes we feel burnt out but we have to stay the course. No one knows the future and we are all figuring it out as I’ve stated before. You don’t wanna be the dickhead who stops trying the moment they’re about to achieve all they’ve worked for.

This is when motivation comes in and the small part validation can have on it. Whether its someone reposting your words because it resonated with them or you getting more likes than usual, validation can at times be the spark that keeps you going but there is a pitfall. Validation can be addictive and inevitably can lead to you chasing an unattainable high. Everyone wants their work to be seen by a large swath of people but that can’t be your only reason for wanting to make something. There has to be a flame built on the internal that keeps you going.

This is important so that when only one or two people see your shit it won’t deter you because you are working towards something bigger than their attention or their likes. You have to keep you motivated and this artistic journey we undertake from our need to create is what we need in order to strengthen the internal dialogue we have with ourselves and become better people. So i’m telling you its worth it. Not only will you gain and improve your skills but you’ll also improve yourself. I know that the days when your ideas feel like shit and you feel like shit feel like they last a lifetime but they are only temporary. They shall pass and you will get better. So get to work and keep going.

The Confusion Between Self-Confidence & Cockiness....

When you start to like yourself is when niggas start to hate you more. When they see that you are sure of yourself is when they start to realize that they aren’t. When they see that you are moving inexorably towards a goal is when they realize how stationary they’ve been. When they see you starting to gain traction is when they realize it’s all slipping away for them. When they see all that you’ve gained all they see is what they lack. News flash fuck nigga; That shit is NOT MY FUCKING PROBLEM!

Just because my light got brighter doesn’t mean it was done in order to make you feel like shit. You’re doing a pretty good fucking job of that on your own fam. They’ll say that you’re overconfident or cocky but how is that so when I’m just loving who I am and all that comes with that. It sounds like a fuck nigga is projecting and it isn’t fucking cute sweetheart. If you’re afraid of having the inner dialogue with yourself that can lead to the same self love that someone else then cool but just stop blaming other niggas for your inactivity. It’s not me, it’s you.

Just Keep Making Shit!

The message is self-explanatory for obvious reasons. None of the shit you’re hoping to build is going to happen overnight. It also dispels the old myth of this thing called “Writers Block.” Heres a news flash ya fucking dick; There’s no such thing. You’re probably just fucking lazy. When you have this “Block” it’s just some imaginary pressure you’re putting on yourself. Understandably you might have some shit to work through but two things are happening. One is that you’re not working on that shit and two is that you’re neglecting the perfect place to work through it. Whether it’s photography, music, painting or writing, whatever it is that you do has to be garbage before it gets good. Thats how you defeat this nonexistent block. You just make garbage until it’s good.

The thing is when you get this block no one is paying you any attention and its just you and your hobby. No one is watching you and no one is critiquing you. You don’t even have to tell or show anyone anything about what you’re doing, so why bitch about its quality. You are NOT going to get better by neglecting the thing you love. You are not going to magically find this inspiration because when you do it’s usually too late. Inspiration finds you when you’re working towards it NOT waiting for it. Just remember that you are good enough and have the right to make what you want regardless of the quality or the quantity. If you like it then thats enough. It’s yours to treasure and if you keep working and add a dash of luck then you’ll get to exactly where you need to be. So get to work. No one else is gonna do it for you.

The Scariest Question is "Why?"

This is the question most avoid because of this thing called accountability. It involves looking at yourself as imperfect and figuring out what needs to be fixed and what steps to take in doing so. Most will come up with a thousand reasons as to why they aren’t doing something but when you look at why they’re not they never look at themselves. Sometimes they even have the audacity to realize that they are the issue but are okay with being inactive. When you ask them why they are inactive or why they’re doing/not doing something you get met with bullshit excuses and answers that fail to barely even scratch the surface of the real reasoning at the core of it all. Usually if you want the truth you have to keep poking and prodding until they either get agitated and close up or just get agitated and tell you. Even when the close up you can still get to the latter.

The problem is why deny why you suck dick at something or at being a certain way when you can acknowledge that you are fucking up and make a change. That my friend is when we come back full circle to the original reason at hand. There is the fear that they are not all they perceive themselves to be and aren’t as clean as they originally thought they were in the long run. It takes courage to acknowledge your faults and take real accountability and not indulge in the new years mentality of doing okay for a week or two and then going to complete shit in week three. They should really be scared of what will happen if they remain a piece of shit or remain inactive in whatever set goals they have. The only way to avoid that fate is to honestly examine yourself and fix what is wrong and realize that you are the cause if not just a part of it. A talent wasted is a curse. Remember that, peace.

Enjoy Your Solitude....

It’s okay to take sometime for yourself. Sometimes we give others too much of ourselves to the point that we lose sight of your own goals along with your sense of self. Its not selfish to give a fuck about your own well being and it’s not selfish to want to stop giving in order to save something for yourself. Nigga i’m me. Why in the fuck would I not want to prioritize my own well being from time to time.

At the bare minimum if any one is going to always care for me it should be me. On the entire planet I should care for me because even if others do they can’t force me to do the work I need to in order to fix myself. I have to be the catalyst of that and make strides to do so of my own accord. Some people fall into that pitfalls of wanting to help and support everyone but whether its following behind a spouse or giving too much of your personal time to your family and friends, you lose who you are and may be hard pressed to figure that shit out again.

I don’t want to be with a spouse and have nothing to show no matter the outcome and be looked at as just that. I don’t want to give to all my friends and realize that they have failed to reciprocate at all in any way when it’s all said and done with them gaining while I gained nothing. Relationships are transactional and at times are not worth the price of admission. It’s important to focus on your mental and physical health. It’s important to put energy into your own endeavors and reap the rewards. It’s okay to spend time away and come back energized. If they don’t understand that then fuck ‘em. They probably didn’t really care any fucking way.