This is the one thing about me that sometimes confuses me like shit fam. To get straight to the shit I am someone who loves relationships with women. I can be a whole ho if I wanted to but I like the intimacy of a relationship so fucking sue me lol. The problem is that when it comes to me finding this its almost as if for me personally anyway that I’m meeting the right women at the wrong time. Beautiful baddies for whom I would love to spend my time with and blow the backs out of but it’s just never the right time. Either they got a nigga or they just got out of a relationship. Due to the consistency of this I just said fuck it and decided to focus on me, which has paid off tremendously in regards to my sense of self worth, self love and mental health. The problem is when I think about how little time I spend finding a partner because I’m so focused on getting to my vision.
It makes me wonder if I’m just really focused or am I using my vision as a way to avoid that aspect of my life. Shit maybe it is both nigga I don’t fucking know lol. This is something I started thinking about because of how my life will be WHEN I pop off and WHEN I’m successful. Who will be there to say that they experienced the journey with me and stayed the course? Will it just be me alone in a nice apartment/home with mad money and no-one to share it with? Will I just throw myself into my work in order to keep so busy that I’m forced not to pay attention even though I notice it? I don’t want to be the nigga who has everything and no-one to share it with. I also don’t wanna be no bum ass nigga who can’t rub two fucking coins together to save his fucking life. I wanna see my vision for my future coalesce into a full fledged reality and I won’t let anything or anyone stand in my way. I just don’t want to neglect finding someone and have no-one to stand with me when its all said and done.