Embrace The Petty.

Maybe that nigga Vegeta was onto something. That nigga wanted to not only be the best but be better than one other person so bad that he not only worked but willed himself into becoming a super saiyan. This nigga wanted it so bad that he achieved ultra ego when Goku achieved ultra instinct. Unlike Goku who just loves to fight and wants to do nothing more than become stronger solely for the sake of it this nigga Vegeta wanted to be strong to spite others and laud it over their heads and to that I say “Sounds like a plan.”

You can make incredible gains by embracing pettiness. Wanting to prove someone wrong or to make someone regret something, be the best and destroy the competition. I see nothing wrong with it. Michael Jordan was one of if not still is one of the most petty human beings on the face of the earth. He willed himself into greatness by outworking his competitors and embracing the darker emotions of the human existence.

He would see people accomplish feats against him and talk trash and work 10X’s harder to make them regret it. Kobe Bryant during a particularly tumultuous period in his life used his anger and aggression as a means to becoming a better player and molding a championship team. With people constantly doubting him, wanting to see him fail and him generally being a bit of a pariah at that point created the “Black Mamba” alter ego.

Wanting to put someone in their place, prove someone wrong and make others regret doubting you whilst proving your skill is an incredible means to an end that no one wants to talk about. If it wasn’t a good motivator then why does every man or woman work out or put in extra effort towards a goal like working out after a break up? If it wasn’t a good motivator then why would someone who gets broken up with throw themselves even deeper into their work?

Nothing would make me happier than to show all those who doubted me that I am better. Nothing would make me happier than making them regret seeing me as less than. Nothing would make me happier than to be better than my previous affiliates ever could be and kill them and their egos with success. Fuck kindness. Not only will I destroy their doubts and make them eat their words and feel shame for doing so but I’ll destroy my doubts as well. Embrace the petty.

"I'm Only"

First and foremost I’m back you bitch ass niggas HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Secondly that phrase should be adopted into your vocabulary immediately. A lot of people love to put arbitrary time limits on themselves in regards to a goal or task to be accomplished. That is inherently detrimental because of the fact that this usually comes from comparing yourself to the highlight reel obsessed sycophants on the fucking internet. Its always good to have a timeline and a deadline to push some pep in ya’ step but it shouldn’t come from comparing your journey to another’s. The path to success is not one size fits all. There is no formula and no guarantees. The path to success is plagued with experimentation, innovation and lots of failure. This comes from success not only meaning different things to different people but the trial and error that is need to figure out what works for you.

You can start at 16 or you can start at 60; It’s never too late to begin something new and become someone different. Its always better to start earlier but never let some random and poorly thought out time frame convince you that life can and has to play out one way. Every ending is a new beginning and learning to embrace failure and uncomfortable circumstances will be the key to it. It just won’t play out the same way every time. If you can deal with that and understand that then you’ll be better prepared than most the get to exactly where you see yourself. There’s nothing wrong with that process of change starting later in life so don’t be deterred by this. Its a marathon not a sprint and sometimes the fruits of your labor only start to manifest when your nearing the end.

I Won't Leave You Flapping In The Breeze

But you aren’t the reason I get up in the morning. My motivation for being is something that manifested before you. I refuse to let anyone stand in the way of coalescing the future I see for myself, not even me. The partners I deal with and the one I settle down have to realize that my art and my passion are my drive and my sole motivator for getting up in the morning day after day in order to bring my dreams to life. It doesn’t mean that you don’t matter but it does mean that sometimes my work takes precedence.

There will be nights where I may not make it home because i’m a moment away from fulfilling a dream project. I may not be able to give you the attention you want as much because I have loftier goals that are finally coming true. Its not neglect but in the end I do not live for you. You are apart of my life and it means the world to me but my dreams, goals, aspirations and the passion that fuels them will always come first.

Some people don’t want to be told that they’ll be number two but I’d rather race to my goals with you by my side and have you understand as opposed to not understanding and doing it without you. It doesn’t mean that you don’t mean the world to me or that I wouldn’t move oceans and mountains to see you smile. It just means that there will be moments when I just need you to understand what i’m trying to accomplish and support me.

If I were to live the way you wanted me to then i’d end up hating and resenting you. I don’t want to wake every morning, turn over and feel nothing but disdain for your presence. I want to look at you and see everything that led up to this moment right now and remember that you were down with me the whole way. I hope you understand. Whoever you are.